MOVIE REVIEW: JONAH HEX (15)

SLIDER’S REVIEW:

When I saw the trailer to this film I was quite excited because most of my boxes of what I like best in a film were ticked. Not only is this a DC Comics Character but also this film is filled with explosions, quick draw gun fights and a beautiful love interest (Megan Fox). what could possibly go wrong with this film?.  But then again for a western film to be interesting you need a good genuine storyline because everybody loves a hero looking for revenge, like the tagline says it does get ugly. 

(i mean just look at his face *no pun intended*)

This film is deceiving as it has all the characteristics to be a great movie but fails on more counts than I have time to mention. The script writers Neveldine & Taylor did a woeful job. The script for this film must have been misplaced and then they just decided to make up scenes up as they went along. The whole film lets a great character like Jonah Hex down.

On a good note Josh Brolin who plays the main man gives a good performance. He tried his best to make it stick on screen but the movie just collapses around him. I also love when John Malkovich plays a baddie in a film, he knocks the performance out the park every time. It’s too bad the film makes them look like they can’t act.

This is from Warner brothers so I was expecting a classic, all I got for my time & money was an epic failure of a film.

MY STAR RATINGS OUT OF 5:   2

ONE FAVOURITE MOMENT IN THE FILM:

The scene of where Jonah Hex is in a bar drinking. On the other side of the bar are 2 men discussing on how Jonah doesn’t look tough at all. So one decides to go and start something but as soon as he gets up and says “what happen to your face” Jonah hex has his gun hidden under his hat and blows the man off his feet.

(if you loved another moment in the film, please feel free to tell me in the comments)

SYNOPSIS:

The U.S. military makes a scarred bounty hunter with warrants on his own head an offer he cannot refuse: in exchange for his freedom, he must stop a terrorist who is ready to unleash Hell on Earth.

TRAILER:

MOVIE REVIEW: DINNER FOR SCHMUKS (12A)

SLIDERS REVIEW:

This is one of them films that does exactly what it says on the tin. its making fun of others because they think they are in a higher position in life. I already felt I knew how the film would pan out before it even started but was still wanting to see the whole thing unfold. I had a bit of hope for this film but then 30minutes into it i was bored *sigh*.

 Dinner for Schmuks does have a few laughs but I couldn’t really pick out any relevance in the whole movie. I normally love watching anything with comedy but not so much this one. I think most jokes need to have a backing story to be really funny. Half way through watching & I’ve lost all interest because the story doesn’t grab my attention throughout. When this movie finished I didn’t really think about it. I mean if I didn’t have to write this review I probably wouldn’t have thought of it again.

 There’s a original French version of this film and from what I heard its miles better this one. Classics are always hard to follow up. So better luck film is what I say to The Director Jay Roach. But on the other hand full marks to Steve Carrell who plays the character Barry Speck. He played his character very well, he is such a talented man. I don’t think there’s a role he’s played lately and hasn't aced it. He acted like a true Schmuk. Too bad the concept of the film totally sucks.

There’s a tons of new films out that’s better than this so save your money people and watch something else.

MY STAR RATINGS OUT OF 5:  0.5

ONE FAVOURITE MOMENT IN THE FILM:

Barry Speck’s speech at the dinner.

(if you loved another moment in the film, please feel free to tell me in the comments)

SYNOPSIS:

When he finds out that his work superiors host a dinner celebrating the idiocy of their guests, a rising executive questions it when he's invited, just as he befriends a man who would be the perfect guest.

TRAILER:

MOVIE REVIEW: PiIRANHA 3D (18)

SLIDER'S REVIEW:

I'm not a fan of scary films but I liked the way this was written out. I knew this was a horror film but then they throw a bunch of semi naked woman with their boobs out to get my attention, especially a naked Kelly brook that plays Danni. She’s not just a pretty face, she can act aswell. Watching this had one part of me wanted to see her getting it on whilst the other was thinking about the Piranhas showing up and ruining the party.

I liked the way Director Alenxandre Aja has done some of the shots in this film because he makes you think something has happened but then when you see the full picture & I realised its nothing yet. I was constantly thinking “oh no don’t go there” &“oh no don’t do that” alot in this film.

This film is not for the light hearted as I don’t think I have seen anything so graphic so gory in a long time. These computers generated Piranha’s ran the show. When the killing gear kicked into top speed limbs became detached, flesh were getting ripped off, blood everywhere. I felt squeezy I had to look away a couple times. There are too many types of deaths in this film, it will put you off your popcorn, put me off mine. I didn’t mind because I was so entertained at the same time. Its is cheesy at times but it works at the same time.

At the end of the day the piranhas are still fishes but in 3D and on big screen in the cinema they look pretty scary. The detail on the fishes looks good from the teeth to the scales. This film was a visual treat, it had me mouth open gobsmacked because i couldn’t believe what i was seeing.

The next time you’re at the beach you will definitely think about this film.

MY STAR RATINGS OUT OF 5:  3.5

ONE FAVOURITE MOMENT IN THE FILM:

The scene were the girl is gliding in the sea attached to a boat. She doesn’t realise it but the Piranha’s come from behind and start eating at her legs. She screams “pick me up” and by the time the people on the boat realise that her screams are not of joy but of agony,  there’s blood everywhere. By the time she’s risen back in the air her legs are eaten off. *ouch*

(if you loved another moment in the film, please feel free to tell me in the comments)

SYNOPSIS:

After a sudden underwater tremor sets free scores of the prehistoric man-eating fish, an unlikely group of strangers must band together to stop themselves from becoming fish food for the area's new razor-toothed residents.

TRAILER:

MOVIE REVIEW: SCOTT PILGRIM VS THE WORLD (12A)

*NEW* SMALL’S FIRST REVIEW:

The beginning of this film is hard to understand. It is one of those films where you cannot go to the toilet otherwise you will miss something and find it harder to understand. Because the beginning is like that people may find this frustrating but the humour in the film kept me satisfied. This computer game like film has its moments of real laughter.

This film is entertaining the characters are weird but I think that they are meant to be. I love the way they added the game features into the film. It sort of reminded me of those old Batman and Robin shows when Batman would hit someone then words would flash like “Wham” or “Boom.” The fight scenes looks like they graphically enhanced it from video games like Street Fighter or Dragon Ball Z which by the way looks really good.

The film is about a young musician Scott Pilgrim (Michael Cera) who falls in love with the girl from his dreams yes the girl from his dreams. The only thing that is stopping him from having a happy life with Ramona Flowers (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) is her seven evil exes who are out to try and kill him. Scott has never had problems with getting a girlfriend before his main problem was actually getting rid of them but now he has to fight for his woman literally. This hilarious, action packed film is one to watch I would recommend this to anyone.

MY RATINGS OUT OF 5:  3.5

ONE FAVOURITE MOMENT IN THE FILM:

My favourite moment has to be when Scott ordered a package on the net and as soon as he clicked send he ran to the door and sat by it with his legs crossed waiting as if the package would be instantly delivered. I thought that was hilarious.

(if you loved another moment in the film, please feel free to tell me in the comments)

SYNOPSIS:

Scott Pilgrim must defeat his new girlfriend's seven evil exes in order to win her heart.

TRAILER:

MOVIE REVIEW: GROWN UPS (12A)

SLIDERS REVIEW:

I Laughed My Ass Off (literally) when this movie was playing. The banter is fun to watch. It’s entertaining to watch the one liner jokes hit the spot, well most of the time anyways. I liked the way the main 4 feed off each other’s jokes. One will say something and another will counter it immediately. I can’t even say what character I liked the best because everyone was funny but then again it doesn’t take alot to make me laugh. From the characters of Lenny Feder (Adam Sandler) to Rob Schneider (Rob Hillard) everyone played their role well.

This American comedy from the Happy Madison studios doesn’t really have a storyline which is a shame because of all the comedy thrown into it. It felt like a couple ideas thrown together to make up 102 minutes running time. Don’t let me put you off because when Adam Sandler writes a film expect to have a jolly good time at the cinema. Mr Sandler knows what he’s doing because he doesn’t need to create an epic movie to make money because his funny traits do that for him.

Actors/Actresses do have the best job don’t you think? I mean all they have to learn is some lines, be famous, have lots of fun and get paid for it. That’s exactly what this film looked like. If there is a lesson to take from this one it’s that you lose some and you win some. Grown Ups is a feel good movie for if you just want to have a laugh. It’s not funniest but it will do.

MY STAR RATINGS OUT OF 5:  3.5

ONE FAVOURITE MOMENT IN THE FILM:

Loved all the jokes.

(if you loved another moment in the film, please feel free to tell me in the comments)

SYNOPSIS:

After their high school basketball coach passes away, five good friends and former team mates reunite for a Fourth of July holiday weekend.

TRAILER:

MOVIE REVIEW: SALT (12A)

SLIDERS REVIEW:

I’m sat there and Salt had just finished and I don’t want to leave because I want Part 2 to start right away. What a movie this is. A woman on the run with the skills of a CIA agent, I was pulled in straight away. The Director Phillip Noyce captured this Action/Thriller very well. She reminded me of Jason Bourne but like the female version, she was certainly more fun to watch because she had more gun fights and certainly held her own when it came to fist fights.(Dont know how but she did) Some of the stunts are not too over the top making them a bit believable.

I am glad that Tom Cruise turned down the opportunity to be the lead actor in this film because Angelina Jolie who was later on chosen for the role does an outstanding job. From her pretty blonde hair to her recognisable plump lips I think Mrs Jolie brought Salt to life better than any female actress could. I thought I had a favourite film already for this summer (A Team) but once again another blockbuster like this one gets released and it takes my number one spot.

 I’m not the type to go back and watch a film twice but for Evelyn Salt ill make an exception. I take my hat off to the writers Kurt Wimmer & Brian Helgeland. The twists and turns that occur in this film had me so surprised I couldn't believe it. I thought this would be just about a woman framed but no the story is much deeper than that. This is what I like to call great script writing. I don’t want to say much, I just 99.9% recommend everybody to see this one.

MY STAR RATINGS OUT OF 5:  5

TWO FAVOURITE MOMENTS IN THE FILM:

1. When she about to be captured in the CIA building and the detective are closing in. The way she makes use of a fire extinguisher.

2. The scene of the funeral and where she gets to the Russian president during his speech.

(if you loved another moment in the film, please feel free to tell me in the comments)

SYNOPSIS:

A CIA agent goes on the run after a defector accuses her of being a Russian Spy.

TRAILER:

MOVIE REVIEW: THE EXPENDABLES (15)

SLIDERS REVIEW:

Leave the misses and the kids at home and call the lads for a serious time at the cinema because this is a Sylvester Stallone Directed movie. He has managed to jam pack this action film with lots of famous faces. I could just imagine him scrolling down his phone book and asking all these people to be in his film. There’s just too many names to mention of stars in this one. Even the cameo is special even though the trailer shows the person. It’s called “the big three scene”.

The storyline’s not that original but who cares with the visuals on screen, that’s the only negative I have with this film. I liked the way characters were different to each other, everyone of the expendables were a team but had their own set of skills. With big stars come many explosive fight scenes which it was fun to watch. There’s flying knives, bullets, fists everywhere. It had me wanting more as the adrenaline gauge was cranked up to the max.

I was surprised that nobody really outshines each other because everyone’s acting is quite good. After Rambo 4 one thing is certain. Stallone has still got it. Well done on all counts in front of the camera and behind the scenes.

MY STAR RATINGS OUT OF 5:   4

ONE FAVOURITE MOMENT IN THE FILM:

Every Fight Scene.

 (if you loved another moment in the film, please feel free to tell me in the comments)

SYNOPSIS:

A team of mercenaries head to South America on a mission to overthrow a dictator.

TRAILER:

MOVIE REVIEW: STEP UP 3 (3D) (12A)

SLIDERS REVIEW:

Seems like every dance film nowadays has the same storyline. There’s a group of dancers who don’t have much financially and they work towards a competition at the end of the film which wins them a prize money. If you have seen one of these films you have seen them all.  There’s always a twist in films like this and I won’t spoil it for anyone who has not yet seen this yet but trust me when I say you have already seen a twist like this before. Two lead actors gave been changed in this third one from the second instalment of Step Up. The acting is not believable as it should be but they all tried. Enough of the negatives but they all have to be said. 

The difference in this dance film is that the dance routine get more creative as we go along in the film making it feel fresh to my eyes when I watched it. The 3D gave this film a bit of an edge and looks stunning on the big screen. The end dance scene where the House Of Pirates clothes light up was captured beautifully by the director Jon Chu. Step Up 3 is fun and has its funny moments that fits perfectly with the dancing so overall its enjoyable. If there’s something to take away from this movie. I would say it’s to believe in yourself when everything else fails.

MY STAR RATINGS OUT OF 5:  3

ONE FAVOURITE MOMENT IN THE FILM:

The dance routine of Moose & Camille in the street. They hear a song they both know from an ice cream truck. Moose breaks into dance and Camille joins him. They are constantly moving and do a series of stunts & dance as they go along.

(if you loved another moment in the film, please feel free to tell me in the comments)

SYNOPSIS:

A tight-knit group of New York City street dancers team up with a freshman and find themselves pitted against the world's best hip hop dancers in a high-stakes showdown that will change their lives forever.

TRAILER: