Wednesday 7 September 2011

MOVIE REVIEW: COLOMBIANA (15)

"GOOD ENOUGH ACTION FLICK""
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THE REVIEW:
@JeffAllenHammer
Luc Besson is a well-known writer of several cult classics, and action films including Taken, The Transporter (all films), Unleashed, La Femme Nikita, The Big Blue and The Fifth Element. There's little doubt that Besson's best work both as director and writer is Leon: The Professional, or as it's become known, The Professional. The Professional helped launch the careers of Jean Reno, Natalie Portman and Gary Oldman and is an IMDb top 300 
film. 


Colombiana is in many ways similar to The Professional. Colombiana has a young Cataleya (Amandla Stenberg) witness her parents' deaths. The Professional has a young girl named Mathilda (Natalie Portman in her first feature film) come home from grocery shopping -for her dysfunctional family- and find everyone, including her 4-year old brother, dead. Mathilda walks right by her apartment, to the apartment of Leon, who happens to be a hit-man. Cataleya makes her way to Chicago(from South America) and her uncle Emilio's home, he happens to set up hits for a iving. Both men are eventually persuaded to teach the young girls the ways of an assassin. This is pretty much where the similarities end however, which is unfortunate for Colombiana Olivier Megaton directs Colombiana. His name is appropriate; there is a mega-ton of action (with little flare) and a mega-ton of scantily clad Zoe Saldana (with little reason.) 


Saldana deserves better than this film. She had a strong performance as Uhura in Star Trek and backed it up with a terrific performance as Princess Neytiri in Avatar. She is more than capable of being the action star this film needed her to be, unfortunately it squandered her abilities by leaving scenes on the table. There were scenes in which we simply cut out large portions of action to instead focus on ludicrous stealth sequences. For instance, there is a scene where Cataleya must infiltrate a mansion, in which she winds up in a (somewhat unconventional) pool. The scene would have had great promise with stronger writing, but there are too many questions about the scene. For one, unless she somehow drilled into the pool from beyond the fat-cat's property, how did she get in it? Second, did she really gain anything by being in the pool? It's not like the pool extended into the mansion. It really seemed like the movie equivalent of Shaggy and Scooby Doo leaping in the window to unlock the door, then leaping back out the window to enter via the door. It didn't make sense. I don't mind movies pushing the envelope or stretching the imagination. 


The problem with Colombiana is it's not bold enough to be considered true b-movie fare, but too cheesy and focused on a never-ending striptease to be considered much else. Cataleya's boyfriend (Michael Vartan) tries to add a sense of normalcy to the film but their interactions actually tended to add to the awkwardness, at one point I wondered if they had ever spoken to one another. The film itself isn't entirely terrible, but the story lags and the action sequences just aren't up to par for a film whose main concern is the action. If all you're going to do is shoot stuff up, at least shoot it up real good.
 
STAR RATINGS OUT OF 5: 3 
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